50 is here.

At my 50th birthday party, I thanked all the people who helped me become this best 50-year-old version of myself.

“Best version of yourself” is a line I’ve been hearing a lot lately, particularly at the Sense8 finale (one of my favorite shows).

First, I praised God for keeping me 50 years and strengthening me  each day.  Next, I thanked my husband, children, mom, sisters, and all my nieces and nephews for their love.  Then, I acknowledged family up in heaven who taught me about love and devotion.  Lastly, I thanked my friends for their support.

All these people helped me become the best version of me — a better mother, wife, sister, daughter, aunt, cousin, niece, and friend.

What I didn’t think to do was give a shout out to myself.

Yes me.

There’s the fun me on social media, who posts fun stuff about Bojangles, home renovations, and family events.

But there’s also the worst version of me who has bouts with depression, anxiety, and panic.  This version of me is always present, in the midst of all the other happy stuff going on around me.

This version is aware of all the house projects and fitness goals that are never finished.  This version of me dwells on my husband’s ailing parents, the discussions about recreational drug use that I’m having with my children, and the loved ones dealing with their own crises that I don’t know how to help.  My mind races each night and yet I am able to get up each morning.  This “getting up” is what I celebrate.

All the good and bad experiences have helped create this best version of myself.  I may not complete every (or any) project, but I get up and move forward.

As much as my family and friends have helped shape and support this version of me, I also have to give myself credit.  There are things that only I can do to make myself better.  For that, I give myself a shout out.

That’s why I celebrate turning 50.

Have you given yourself a shoutout lately?