Monthly Archives: January 2018

BFFs, My Family

Emergency Contacts

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Last week, my son went across the world to study and my husband had major surgery. These events happened within days of each other.

I wanted to just stay in bed. There was this general feeling of sadness…like something was off. I couldn’t get a handle on everything going on around me.

So I did something remarkably out of character.

When people called to check on me, I didn’t say I was fine. I actually said, “I’m sad.” These people didn’t dismiss the feeling, but they just listened. It felt good to be heard.

When people called and asked if I needed anything, I said, “Yes, would you mind driving Elena to the hospital?” and “Yes, could you please find me a counter-height chair?” Each request was granted without hesitation.

It has always been hard for me to ask for help because I didn’t want to be a burden.  But, the last couple of days, I called on a small team of people who have assembled around my life waiting to help out, and I found that they were happy to help me.

I have always been everyone’s Emergency Contact.  If someone’s kid needs to be picked up from school or something needs to be done on a work day, I am THE person to call.

This week, I found out that I had Emergency Contacts, too.  They can pretty much do anything…except read minds.

Do you struggle with reaching out to people for help?  Why is it so hard to ask?

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Let’s Go and Lets Go

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I have 163 days left in my 40s.

My mantra for 2018 is “Let’s Go” with the apostrophe. In 2017, I lived a life of excuses:  I was too busy, too broke, too sick…the list was long.

With “Let’s Go!” as this year’s mission statement, my priorities become clearer:

  • Spend time with the people I love? Let’s Go!
  • Throw out all things in the house that I’m hoarding?  Let’s Go!
  • Get in better shape?  Let’s Go!

The mantra can be modified by dropping the apostrophe, “…lets go.”

  • Coz lets go of worrying about things out of her control.
  • Coz lets her children go without giving them the doom and gloom speech of all the bad things that can happen.
  • Coz lets go of toxic people and drama.

I was going to apologize for speaking in third person, but I’m letting it go.

I want to live in my 50s without making excuses or apologizing for choosing me.  In my 30s and 40s, I thought it was honorable to put everyone ahead of myself.  Everyone was fine, but I became more unhealthy and unhappy.

I gained 20 pounds.  I started medication for high blood pressure.  This isn’t how I want to live the next half of my life.

I am determined to spend these last 163 days working on the best me for 50.  LET’S GO!

I am so happy you all are still with me in 2018. What are your goals for 2018?  And what is your plan to get them done?